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There is always hope.
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Literature
Cycloid Cascade
The murmuring of innumerable T.V. screens chattering
in my head
a hundred million bees stinging my skin and
white teeth disintegrating
comatose dose of medication to stave off catatonia
raise magnifying glasses in a toast to see inside my mind
a CAT scan.
Two way mirrors
eat my eyes
they're spying on me with silverfish.
The ward wardens say: lady schizophrenia, your mirrors aren't cursed and cracked
it's your mind.
I find webs of lies and cuckoo nests to fly ghosts beneath the gaps in the doors
sink anchors through the floorboards to the cellar, set up safe rooms to hide in
cast my conspiracy nets wide and catch
bites
there are cameras behind the walls.
They watch me all the time, these disembodied eyes
turning the palms of so many time turners
slow, and fast like unpaced hearts needing pace makers
marking my pulse out - the way they need endless ECGs in I.P.
These cool-handed strangers in scrubs and Clozaril whites running surveillance
to unclothe my mind
walking time backward
will sh
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ID June 2017 by Rosary0fSighs ID June 2017 :iconrosary0fsighs:Rosary0fSighs 1 0
Literature
Moon and Sun
your palms pool warmth into my bones
each smile bright with heat until I could swear there
are cups of tea in your shadow
or flickering flame
your side doves easily to mine
steps fall in sister heartbeats
my pain has marred our marrow
left craters and scars that mark us differently
you help me heal and I you -
trickling rain
under candlelight and wax to waxing moon
laugh sweetly over nothing
reinvent language and burn to perfection
I freeze these moments in space
when swallowed in black holes with hope
I'll appear in a universe
parallel to you
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Literature
Skyfells
had they a shiny silver syringe
filled to brim with orange medicine
better to reign in hell than serve in heaven
so trazo-dosed my hip and burned my soul into oblivion
it's oh so quiet in this room
dark and empty marshmallow buttoned walls
hallucinogen soft and
grey with hollow gloom
naked screams echo here
nail your palms in crescent moons
pupils dilate with torch beam light instead of stars
from their station, nurses check in orbit if
I'm still alive
pierce the shutter door with telescopic eyes and shuttle
home
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Literature
Sessions
Ember light trailing over the curve of your thigh
hidden under the fold of the bed-sheet crease, the sweet
fortune-cookie divet of your hip
chasing kisses to your waist
your smile playful and teasing.
Modigliani neck smooth like a swan
silk skin in this Sunday afternoon, pale
as the paper of study books unfolded on the floor
forgotten
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Literature
Rubber Nooses
Maddie snaps rubber bands to wrists
redirecting and reverberating pain from her
brain to skin to bone,
a tan rubber doctor's mallet
testing the reflexes of coping strategies instead of knees
(kill me please, please kill me, please)
2D hammer flat and golden beige
like the pancakes none of us eat
for the food challenge.
Hey doc, you, my voices, and your goal weight can go
fork yourself.
A patient steals one of my silver rings from my bedside -
I wonder if she tiptoed to me in the night and crept
away, jealous treasure tucked in the folds of her pocket gown
or twinkling dull beneath the pale white beam of the
nurse's flashlight for night checks.
Did she slip into my room mid-afternoon snack
while I was trapped at the eating-disorders table;
as much prisoner to the ritual of forced eating in a group
as the disorder slaved me to dancing its strange rhythms too.
Show the nurse my tongue: compliance pink to prove clozapine is swallowed and not
in my cheek, as it were two days ago and
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Literature
Dissociate
Restless spirit departs to imperfect shadow
penumbra of night sweats; salt, silk sickness
staining wallpaper red.
I eat ghosts and vanish through the walls
of  memory
treading an epitaph rewritten
recalling and mourning, wishing the past backward.
Scatter flower petals to rigor mortis feet
grip the thorns in my palm
watch scarlet spots damn me to hell.
I inhale fireflies and glow worms
fluoresce and glow in the dark.
Swallow lanterns
to my belly - a flickering candle
ebbing and flowing phantom light;
altar to loneliness.
Luminous spectre
invisible spectator to my internal world.
I eat spiderwebs and
wrap the sticky bone threads; pale spirit stitches
skeletal poltergeist fingers
to sew body back to mind and
keep it from floating away - a parachute.
If my soul wants to leave my body,
why does it keep coming back?
Parasitic host,
ghoul shrouded neath the pretence of human.
Wraith inflicting a slow degradation
before the ghostly congress of silent judges - conscience jury
jostling for
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ID Halloween 2016 by Rosary0fSighs ID Halloween 2016 :iconrosary0fsighs:Rosary0fSighs 3 4 Sylveon Gijinka - Halloween Pokemon Cosplay by Rosary0fSighs Sylveon Gijinka - Halloween Pokemon Cosplay :iconrosary0fsighs:Rosary0fSighs 5 2 Supermoon by Rosary0fSighs Supermoon :iconrosary0fsighs:Rosary0fSighs 13 0 Offering by Rosary0fSighs Offering :iconrosary0fsighs:Rosary0fSighs 6 3 Presence by Rosary0fSighs Presence :iconrosary0fsighs:Rosary0fSighs 5 0 The General by Rosary0fSighs The General :iconrosary0fsighs:Rosary0fSighs 4 0 London by Rosary0fSighs London :iconrosary0fsighs:Rosary0fSighs 3 0 Speak by Rosary0fSighs Speak :iconrosary0fsighs:Rosary0fSighs 6 1 V by Rosary0fSighs V :iconrosary0fsighs:Rosary0fSighs 2 1

deviantID

Rosary0fSighs
Ruby
Australia
Hi :) I'm Rosie.

I'm studying masters of psychology at university and am working part time as a mental health support worker. I'm a mental health advocate, and want to dedicate my life to helping to support and understand others living with mental illness. I live with Schizoaffective Disorder (Type I Bipolar and schizophrenia) in Australia. I love writing and reading poetry, and reading biographies and memoirs. I also love writing music and performing, photography and photo manipulation.

My heroes are Anne Deveson, Kay Redfield Jamison, Elyn Saks, Carl Sagan, Bill Nye, Mama Caxx, and Neil Degrasse Tyson. I admire their courage, passion, resilience, and writing. I believe that resilience, as well as compassion, empathy, emotional intuition, courage and drive are the best qualities a person can have.

I'm a street art enthusiast. I love street art and love photographing it. I very much love decaying buildings and urban exploration.

I like records, horror and occult fiction, writing poetry and lyrics, singing, sushi, Placebo, Katatonia, A Perfect Circle, Fleurie, Ruelle, Zedd, gloomy bear, antiques, porcelain clown dolls, snow globes, horror movies, silent films.
Interests
I've been very scarce of late, but life update! 
I've started studying Masters in Psychology :dummy: Unfortunately it means a lot of travel as I no longer live close to the university, and the travel means inflaming some psychotic symptoms, but I'm managing so far :) Ecstatic being back studying what I love, and hoping to stay well enough to power through. 
We're a small bunch of students, but everyone has really diverse interest areas and ideas. There have been some fantastic discussions already. 

My UK trip with my sister: Scotland broke our hearts. Often fantasising about moving there, especially with our last heat wave here :la: 

My partner has two adorable cats, and I have one adorable bird haha. We're forever showing each other cute videos and gifs of birds and cats.

The best part of Black Sails was always Charles :pirate:

I drink so much lemonade, at this point my bloodstream is probably 80% bubbles.

Hope everyone is well! 
:heart: Xxxxxx 

Wishlist

Thorns by NataliaDrepina Thorns :iconnataliadrepina:NataliaDrepina 174 2 Hunting for a dream by NataliaDrepina Hunting for a dream :iconnataliadrepina:NataliaDrepina 177 0 Mindless by sophiemoates Mindless :iconsophiemoates:sophiemoates 109 9 Lost by KanchanCollage Lost :iconkanchancollage:KanchanCollage 128 16 autumn intervention by ezorenier autumn intervention :iconezorenier:ezorenier 119 6 Undiscovered galaxies by Bucikah Undiscovered galaxies :iconbucikah:Bucikah 12,414 771 In the autumn hands by NataliaDrepina In the autumn hands :iconnataliadrepina:NataliaDrepina 308 6 MALIGN by The-Screaming-Cat MALIGN :iconthe-screaming-cat:The-Screaming-Cat 721 65

Comments


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:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2017
A late  Birthday Gift (3)   to you, Ruby!Birthday cake  icon 
KimRaiFan's Bday Cake Let them jump out of cake Super Fantastic Golden Platter Cake 3D :happy birthday: Pink bouncing cake 2015 NaNoEmo - #21 Birthday Dance Cake emoji heart cake Ugly Triple-decker Cake with candles 50x50 icon Cake cake Gift Box Cake with candles 50x50 icon Cake Blower fella (Party) fella's Gobbler (Party) Happy DeviantART Birthday Diddy Kong Party Time :cheers: rainbow party 
Lots of love to you, and stay beautiful!!!:iconsabyworld:
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:iconrosary0fsighs:
Rosary0fSighs Featured By Owner 2 days ago
Thank you so much!!!! :heart: sorry for the late reply :rose: Xxx
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:iconmarccopeland:
MarcCopeland Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2017   Photographer
:party:  :party:   :party:
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:icon280077s:
280077s Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday!
Reply
:iconjohnnyfb:
JOHNNYFB Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Congratulations on your graduation with honors! That is fantastic!
Reply
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