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Literature Text
In the night air
I watch a young man OD
two paramedics lift him
onto a stretcher
push him into the ambulance
and carry him away.
Near the half-empty hostel
on a cracked sidewalk,
a man has been glassed.
I watch the security guard
press a hand to his head
to stop the tendrils of blood
from flowing out
in gentle pools around his neck.
Under the flashing lights
of a heat-filled nightclub
under the valium drip
and soft effect of medication
I feel the slow, creeping onset
of a panic attack.
I cry and want to collapse
and my sister takes me away
through the maze of body heat
to the dimly lit green haze
of the exist signs,
onto the crowded, lonely street.
We curl into the hostel beds
at 3am
and I listen to the soft breaths
of the sleeping girls.
And the tears come silently by;
waves of horror in the night.
As the dawn light seeps through curtained windows
I promise myself
I'll never trust in me
again.
I watch a young man OD
two paramedics lift him
onto a stretcher
push him into the ambulance
and carry him away.
Near the half-empty hostel
on a cracked sidewalk,
a man has been glassed.
I watch the security guard
press a hand to his head
to stop the tendrils of blood
from flowing out
in gentle pools around his neck.
Under the flashing lights
of a heat-filled nightclub
under the valium drip
and soft effect of medication
I feel the slow, creeping onset
of a panic attack.
I cry and want to collapse
and my sister takes me away
through the maze of body heat
to the dimly lit green haze
of the exist signs,
onto the crowded, lonely street.
We curl into the hostel beds
at 3am
and I listen to the soft breaths
of the sleeping girls.
And the tears come silently by;
waves of horror in the night.
As the dawn light seeps through curtained windows
I promise myself
I'll never trust in me
again.
Literature
Break Me
Break Me
Break me,
Into,
Little pieces
I don't,
Care anymore
Fighting,
Is useless,
When you don't,
Know what you're,
Fighting for
Hurt me,
Like only,
You can
Why you,
Do it,
I can't,
Comprehend
Sear me,
All over,
Again
Break me,
Like only,
You can
This was,
Not,
What I had,
Planned
Break me,
Into,
Little pieces
jlp April 6, 2009
Literature
Breaking Promises
Don't listen...
Don't listen to what I say
It makes no difference if you do,
It won't matter anyway
Everything I say and do,
Is done to cause you pain
But you don't seem to get it,
You just choose to remain
I am breaking promises!
To you all over again
I leave behind me!
A list of all my sins
I am breaking faith!
It is my intention to deceive
And I don't care what it does to you,
I'm doing it for me
You are so optimistic,
So very unrealistic
You think that if you pray,
You can make me change
And so I play with your mind,
It helps to pass the time
You keep looking for truth,
That you will never find!
I am breaking promi
Literature
I am instability
When people see me,
see me walking by,
they see hatred,
they see rage,
but what they do not know
do not realize
is that these eyes
hold sorrow
because
this world has been cruel to me.
I never asked to be this way,
where, every day
my family
would suffer
because of me
and my mood swings.
It's not me.
But it is a part of me.
I have succumbed to a
controlling director
and I am playing a part
in a theater
where the script is garbled
indecipherable
and I have to follow a plot
which makes no sense
to the audience...
or
...to me.
Because you see,
the real me
is hidden
and it is forbidden
to gaze upon the face
beh
Suggested Collections
My saturday night.
I went clubbing with a group of girls.
I hope the young man who was taken to hospital is ok,
and that the man who'd been glassed is healing.
It was very, very upsetting to see them.
Particularly the first victim. I've OD'ed myself,
and to see someone at that level of throwing up
and being so out of control is VERY disturbing,
because I saw myself in him.
Thankfully he was in good hands,
and I hope he's ok.
More than anything, I love and appreciate my sister
who is a constant support and my absolute rock.
She's there to catch me when I'm falling
and dragged me to safety when I couldn't speak, think, or find myself.
Panic attacks are so unbelievably overwhelming.
I've had them since I was seven, and never get used to them.
I feel really drained. It's monday already, which is some distance from saturday night/sunday morning.
I'm reading a beautiful memoir at the moment, that I found in the library today, which is really helping me see the beauty and fragility of life. I've barely been able to put it down! Ironically, it has the same name as one of my recent poems - it's called "1000 Cranes" (my poem was called 1000 Paper Cranes), which was a funny coincidence. I'm glad I picked it up. It's very moving.
I went clubbing with a group of girls.
I hope the young man who was taken to hospital is ok,
and that the man who'd been glassed is healing.
It was very, very upsetting to see them.
Particularly the first victim. I've OD'ed myself,
and to see someone at that level of throwing up
and being so out of control is VERY disturbing,
because I saw myself in him.
Thankfully he was in good hands,
and I hope he's ok.
More than anything, I love and appreciate my sister
who is a constant support and my absolute rock.
She's there to catch me when I'm falling
and dragged me to safety when I couldn't speak, think, or find myself.
Panic attacks are so unbelievably overwhelming.
I've had them since I was seven, and never get used to them.
I feel really drained. It's monday already, which is some distance from saturday night/sunday morning.
I'm reading a beautiful memoir at the moment, that I found in the library today, which is really helping me see the beauty and fragility of life. I've barely been able to put it down! Ironically, it has the same name as one of my recent poems - it's called "1000 Cranes" (my poem was called 1000 Paper Cranes), which was a funny coincidence. I'm glad I picked it up. It's very moving.
© 2009 - 2024 Rosary0fSighs
Comments9
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mi art teacher's son commited suicide because his best friend got hit by a car...fuck i didnt even know the kid and i was contemplating suicide because of it...fortunately, imm chicken shit wen it comes to mi friends' feelings wen i almost broke a shit load of promises involving things like this... 
friends are great to have around
friends are great to have around